Pick the lady-boy! It’s not as easy as you think
WE made two trips to Patong. The first was for shopping (there’s still bargains to be had). The other was to take in the fun of the Simon Cabaret — a lady-boy show.
The Simon Cabaret has been stunning, and delighting, people since opening in 1991. It is a dazzling display of colour, fun and men that really do look like women. My wife nudges me several times asking: “That’s not a man, is it?” The answer is yes, lady-boy.
There is nothing sleazy about this lady-boy show. There’s even an English family sitting next to us with three children under 12.
It is flamboyant, it is fun, and it is very Thailand where daytime is for relaxing and night-time partying.
The show has 40 lady-boys performing in over-the-top costumes. They take on the roles of Cher and Christina Aguilera from Burlesque, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Queen Latifah and Renee Zellweger from Chicago. There’s also traditional Thai dancing and singing. It’s all very camp.
After the show you can meet the lady-boy cast and have a photo taken. But be prepared to tip. I was asked for 400 baht ($A13.50) by each of the girls, err boys, I was photographed with.
Outrigger is the perfect retreat
ABOUT 10 minutes into the cooking class Suvapich Sittikraiset, the executive sous chef at the Outrigger Laguna Phuket Beach Resort, turned towards my wife to quietly ask a question.
I was gently dropping the tod mun goong (shrimp cakes) into the boiling oil when I heard: “Do you do the cooking at home?” his voice rising almost wishing the answer to be yes.
Talk about shattering a bloke’s confidence. Here I was going all Jamie Oliver in the Metze Bistro kitchen and I’d failed to impress the judge with the first few waves of my spatula.
If this was Survivor, and remember we are on an island off the coast of Thailand, I was about to be asked to put out my gas oven and leave.
Thankfully my wife granted immunity and said: “We’ll need him later for the heavy whisking.’’ She was right — that batter wasn’t going to beat itself, you know.
Australia’s fascination with television cooking shows has spilt over into the tourism world. Any hotel these days that is not offering cooking classes — or at least a glimpse into a commercial kitchen — is simply missing out on good business. Right now we all want to be master chefs and I reckon that there’s no better place to learn how to cook Thai food than in Thailand.
Authentic. Spicy. Fresh.
A feast awaits after the cooking class
Thai style cooking is not complicated. In two hours we learn not only how to cook a four-course feast (tod mun goong, tom yam goong, gaeng khiaow waan gai and fried banana) from scratch, we also get to eat it.
Life is made simpler because the ingredients are already on the table but this is still a very hands-on experience. You are expected to chop, dip and whip without even the odd slip.
Picture: Alison Crisp with chef Suvapick Sittikraiset. Source: Supplied
Suvapich directs the show but somehow allows you to feel like you are actually cooking — and importantly you feel that you will be able to replicate this meal once you get home, back to reality. Time will tell on that one in my case.Food is very important, and good, at the Outrigger Laguna Phuket under the guidance of executive chef Roberto Conrad, a Swiss national from Lugarno, whose wanderlust has meant that he has cooked throughout Asia for the past few decades.
He’d just returned from Switzerland on the day we arrived. He proudly announced that he had brought back some tomatoes, which he served during an eight-course dinner. Now that’s something you would never get through customs in Australia.
Phuket attracts a smorgasbord of nationalities. In peak season the world-invading Russians and Germans tourists tend to fill most of the rooms. Australia is an ever-increasingly important market. It does a lot to fill the Outrigger’s 255 rooms.
Making the most of the location
From the open-air Asian-themed foyer to the beach front restaurant and Club Lounge with lagoon views, The Outrigger makes the most of its location on the water. It has a well-equipped marine centre and you don’t need a licence to buzz around the lagoon on one of the hotel’s jet skis.
The white sandy beach at the front of the hotel is spotlessly clean. Before the hotel became an Outrigger, it was almost impossible to get to the beach through the hawker stalls. Now they have all been relocated.
The Angsana Spa is a two-minute shuttle ride and a great catalyst to start the relaxing part of any visit to Thailand. Don’t short change yourself here. Try a 90-minute massage and 60-minute facial. You will feel so relaxed afterwards that you’ll head back to the hotel and crash. I was fast asleep for the night at 6.30pm and stayed that way until 9 the next morning.
Good thing breakfast is served until 10.30.
The Outrigger is one of seven hotels in the Laguna Phuket precinct. Guests can wander between resorts if they wish and simply charge anything they like (food, wine, golf or spa treatments) back to their hotel. It makes life easy when you don’t have to carry cash.
Picture: The pool at Outrigger Laguna Phuket Beach Resort.
The precinct is very family oriented and a world away from the action in Patong, which is a 40-minute drive away.
GETTING THERE
Outrigger Laguna Phuket Beach Resort is part of Laguna Phuket Destination Resort and is a 20-minute drive south of Phuket International Airport.
Laguna Village 323 Moo 2, Srisoonthorn Road, Cherngtalay, Thalang, Bangtao Bay, Phuket
Check-in 3pm. Check-out 11am. Late check-out can be arranged around flights.
All guests can enjoy access to 30 restaurants and bars within the Laguna Phuket Destination. There’s five luxurious spas, 18-hole Laguna Phuket Golf Club, boutique shopping village, and Wedding Chapel.
Thai Airways flies daily to Bangkok from Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth with direct connections to Phuket.